Trauma Bonds: Signs You're Stuck in an Abusive Relationship

About this episode

What is a trauma bond, and why is it so hard to leave an unhealthy relationship even when you know you deserve better? Licensed therapist Kati Morton breaks down what trauma bonds actually are and how to break free. We cover shared trauma vs. trauma bonds, intermittent reinforcement and the "hope trap," trauma bonds vs. anxious attachment and codependency, why leaving feels worse at first, grieving the death of the dream, and whether no contact is always necessary. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Trauma Bonds 02:39 Shared Trauma vs. Trauma Bonds 08:22 Why You Can Miss Someone Who Treated You Terribly 12:51 Intermittent Reinforcement and the "Casino" Effect 22:10 Can You Genuinely Love Someone Who Hurts You? 26:42 Trauma Bond vs. Anxious Attachment vs. Codependency 32:55 Why Do We Keep Going Back? 39:59 Why Leaving Feels Worse at First (Cognitive Dissonance) 46:36 Childhood Trauma and Vulnerability 49:08 Grief, the Death of the Dream, and Practical Autonomy 53:03 Is "No Contact" Always Necessary? (Safety First) 56:30 How to Actually Break a Trauma Bond Kati's books: Why Do I Keep Doing This? · Traumatized · Are u ok? Online therapy: BetterHelp, 10% off your first m