Dear Mum | ‘You loved me so completely and still couldn’t stay’

About this episode

Hebe was fifteen when her mum died. But, as she writes in this letter, she’d already lost her so many times before then. Writing to her mum, Patricia, Hebe remembers a woman who was magnetic, fiercely loving, unpredictable and unforgettable. The art galleries, the enormous laugh, the shiny red shoes and a pottery holiday that included a real-life fairy garden. But she also remembers the absences, the alcoholism and the childhood spent loving someone who couldn’t always be there when she needed her. This is a letter about growing up with a complicated mum, about the grief that can begin long before someone dies, and about the memories, photographs and little pieces of a person we carry with us. It’s funny, heartbreaking and full of contradictions, because a person can give you extraordinary things and still leave you with things to grieve. A letter to a mum who was loved, missed and never easy to explain. Thank you so much Hebe @sheaskedanyway, for writing this letter for the podcast, and allowing me to read this on your behalf. The Letterbox is a storytelling podcast sharing real letters written by real people, read aloud by me. Each episode offers a glimpse into someone’