Episode 46: Poolside

About this episode

ATTENTION! POOL RULES! • Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15. • Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool. • This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed at all times. • Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50 bill, or a signed photo of Burt Reynolds. • Towels available for a small fee—ask the Towel Troll for details. • Water in the pool is a privilege, not a right! • Just going to be honest here about going #1 and #2: going #1 is way less of a big deal than you think. Going #2 is way more of a big deal than you think. • Do NOT talk to Randy about 9/11. • NO CANADIANS Also: what’s your theme song; Adam the lion; cloggin’ a drain; seeing yourself in a mirror; grits etc.; Burt Reynolds; peeing on Car 17; splashing is not drowning; pool chairs for everyone bro; browsing TV Guide; Robin Hood of chaises; an original Playstation; The Meerkats and the Laundry Bag; nipples in a crawlspace; ask Quora; the sausage sweats.