What the Egyptian Book of the Dead Really Says

About this episode

The Egyptian Book of the Dead wasn't a book, and it wasn't cursed. It was a cheat sheet for surviving the afterlife exam from hell. Fail, and your heart gets eaten by a monster. This week, we open the real Book of the Dead, find out what The Mummy (1999) got wrong, and learn what Joseph Smith has to do with any of it. Ancient Egyptians believed that after death, you'd face a gauntlet of fire-breathing snakes, demon gatekeepers, and a final judgment in which your heart was weighed against a feather. To help them pass, they were buried with up to 192 spells: the text modern scholars call the Book of the Dead. In this episode: - What the Book of the Dead actually was (and why it wasn't a single book) - The spells against eating poop and drinking pee in the underworld (yes, really) - Ra's solar boat, the gates of the underworld, and the demons - The weighing of the heart and Ammit the Devourer - Spell 30, aka "Heart, please don't snitch on me" - The barnyard chorus of the blessed dead - Shabti figurines: 401 tiny servants for the afterlife - The Book of Breathing, and the breathing permit that ended up in Ohio - Joseph Smith, the Book of Abraham, and a very consequential mistranslati